People Shopping

In a world full of tech-savvy people, it's no wonder Internet dating sites have become so popular. And while there is still a slight stigma attached to Internet dating, in most circles it has become an accepted practice for the busy individual. I mean, how else are you supposed to meet people when you no longer frequent the bars, your friends are all married and your workplace is predominantly female?

What I have discovered from venturing into the virtual dating world is it's a lot less intimidating in a number of ways. It's kind of like browsing through a people catalogue, which allows you to quickly review and discard undesirable potential candi-'dates' (get it? ha ha!) without them ever knowing they've been considered and rejected.

Through my limited experience I have learned some important lessons about what types of profiles to avoid, and today I am going to share this valuable knowledge with you, my loyal fan base (aka Anne Marie and Jackie).

Top 5 Profiles to Avoid

1. No Photos Included. Okay, yeah, so I'm starting with a bit of a no-brainer. But there's really no reason to hide something unless you've got something to hide. Now I've heard all the great excuses that exist as to why one doesn't include a photo with their profile. But the truth is, top-secret agent with the CIA or not, I am going to need to have some idea of what you look like before I agree to a date. And no, I'm not going to trust your description. Or your mom's. And I don't care what your female friends think.

2. Only Has One Photo / Only Includes Photos in Profile and/or Sunglasses. Sure, he might look super-hot, and you'll be tempted. Now I know you're thinking, "But he's super hot!" And maybe, just maybe, he really is. But the reality is more likely one of two possibilities - either it's the best photo ever taken in his life, or it's not really him. And yes, people do that. I personally operate on a three photo minimum in order to ensure some consistency. Sunglasses and profile photos don't count either as they are very misleading. If you can't see them face on and look into their eyes, don't go there! Just trust me on this one.

3. Little to No Effort. Listen, I know these profile things are a pain in the ass to fill out. Nobody really enjoys talking about themselves ad nauseum. But the reality is, you're trying to sell yourself to an unknown customer base, and people are never impressed by a lackluster sales pitch. Think about it this way - if he puts that little effort into capturing your attention in the first place, what do you think he'll be like once he has it?

4. Poor Spelling and Grammar. Maybe it's the English teacher in me, but I just cringe when I read profiles without capitalization or proper punctuation, not to mention prolific use of run-on sentences, poor spelling and horrible text/IM short forms. If I wanted to date a 19 year old I'd go pick one up at the Brunswick House on any given Thursday-Saturday. Again, it's about first impressions, and to me this just says sloppy.



5. Lack of Common Interests. Okay again, this one should be a no-brainer, except sometimes, it's not. The thing is, like with most catalogues, sometimes we get so hung up on the pretty pictures we forget to pay attention to the description underneath. That's how you end up on a date with Leaf fan who takes you to a D&D role playing party. Seriously, though opposites do attract, make sure you consider what differences might be deal breakers. For me, a guy has to be somewhat sporty, as sports (both watching and playing) are a big part of my life. He may be hot, but if you're complete opposites in every way, your wasting you time. Unless of course, you've always secretly wanted to attend a D&D party.

Trust me when I tell you all of these tips are the product of some hard earned experience.  I had to make each one of these mistakes (sometimes more than once!) to figure out they were in fact mistakes.  I'd like to say that if even one person is able to benefit from the wisdom I gathered through these horrific dating experiences that it was well worth it, but I'd be lying.  But I hope someone does anyway.

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